It’s been about a year since I decamped across the hall, and guess what? The sleepless nights are now mostly a thing of the past, and our bedroom times are full of ease. I was sad to go, but immediately, both my sleeping and waking life improved immeasurably. So I finally packed up my pillows and started sleeping in the guest room. On the days after sleepless nights, our work suffered, our coffee intake skyrocketed, and we both began feeling a little bitter toward each other.Īfter several fights in which my partner accused me of snoring - to which I replied that the activity I was engaged in was more properly known as breathing, and I had no plans to stop - it became clear we needed a radical solution. I began to wonder: Had any couple in history actually been driven apart because of their inability to sleep together? It seemed silly to even think about. That period marked a low point in our relationship.Īs it turns out, starting every day exhausted and irritable isn’t conducive to a tranquil, loving romance. The stress of wondering if she would be able to sleep, and the guilt of knowing it was my fault if she couldn’t, started to keep me up all night, rigid with worry. While I struggled to help my partner sleep, I started noticing that her problems were rubbing off on me. We had a brief period of success with a fancy white noise machine, but my partner began accusing it of “making a weird raspy noise every 15 seconds.” Alas, we were sadly forced to retire it. We even bought a king-size mattress and separate blankets, only to discover that apparently no bed is large enough to keep me from colonizing her half. ![]() And my partner tried several brands of ear plugs, which ranged in texture from “marshmallows” to “basically clay.” I invested in multiple sleep masks - which is how I discovered I cannot stand sleep masks. I duct taped a curtain over the window which turned our bedroom into a kind of lightless vampire sanctuary. So once we moved in together, we tried everything to make my dream a reality. I had never experienced this kind of insomnia in any of my other relationships, and I was determined to conquer it and achieve the peaceful bed-sharing to which I felt entitled.
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